Many years ago, I was on my way up a denominational ladder, when I was struck with a huge decision. This decision was one that I knew would hijack my current trajectory, it would hurt some people I loved and respected dearly, and would cost me, what I thought at the time, was the destiny path God had me on.
I was studying one of the final classes for the ordination process. In the course materials, it stated clearly, that, once ordained, you not only had to believe the 16 tenets of faith, but you had to preach or teach them annually. This practice was to ensure that the body of followers were clear on the beliefs, and knew these tenets were core to the belief of the denomination. At this point in time, I was on a trip, having gotten up early in the morning. It was quiet and I was having my time with the Lord, as was my custom. My process has been, for many years, to journal and read my Bible, then to read a chapter or two in a Christian book of some sort. This morning followed the same pattern, then I picked up the study material for the ordination class. As I read the tenets of faith, I was struck by these words “The initial, physical evidence of the in-filling of the Holy Spirit, is speaking in tongues.” This caught me off guard, so I read it several times. I was immediately confronted with a hard decision; do I believe this tenet of faith? I knew that I did not, for many reasons.
My first response and responsibility to this revelation was to research it in scripture, so I did. I won’t get into my studies at this point, but there is biblical evidence that to support my opposing view. I have lived this Christian walk for many years, 15 of those years with the belief that there are other initial, physical evidences of being Spirit Filled. I was very recently confronted with the exact same statement, this time not in a specific denomination, but in a class setting. The class was being taught by a sweet young couple, whom may not have been faced with the depth of this topic, but were just repeating what was written in the materials. It was like nails on a chalkboard hearing it again. But I sat silent. It wasn’t their fault that I didn’t believe this, and I wasn’t about to confront this, nor try to argue the point in this setting. You see, just as I stated earlier, when I initially did the research and received the revelation that this was not a true statement, I followed up accordingly. I contacted my then pastor, who was also ordained with the same denomination. He got extremely upset. As I stated earlier, when you get ordained with that denomination, you are required to sign a contract stating you believe in the tenets, and that you will teach on them. In order to renew your ordination annually, you must re-sign the same statements. God has called me to a unique position, one that does not allow me to compromise my beliefs. I knew that if I signed that document and didn’t believe in the statement, then I would be lying to my oversight, my covering. My only choice, at the time, was to withdraw from the ordination process. When I explained this to my pastor, he was furious. It broke my heart because I knew it was confronting his own compromise. Remember I said in my #2 point that he had publicly stated he didn’t agree with that believe and I confirmed that with him in my call with him. To withdraw from the process, I had to write a letter to the national organization, as well as the pastor that was sponsoring me in the process. The sponsoring pastor was a different person from my current pastor, one whom I highly respected. I had to resign from the program and explain my position of why. I spent many hours praying, combing scriptures, crying, talking to my husband, getting advice from others. I truly wanted to be wrong in this belief, but I couldn’t argue with what Father God was showing me at the time. Finally, I constructed a letter that changed my life forever. The upward trajectory I had been on, came crashing down. My pastor was very upset with me and, I was confronted the following week at church, by the second in command. We continued going to that church and worked through the issue, but it cause me a lot of hurt and pain. I paid a very large price for that decision and that choice. Throughout the process, I learned that we, as believers, can’t just blindly accept what we are told by our leadership and assume it is true. As Christian leaders, pastors, teachers, etc., we MUST know WHY we believe WHAT we believe. It is very personal, between us and Jesus, and we must seek wisdom, understanding and revelation about every aspect of our belief system. This is the only way we will survive when the storms of life come. I never got a response from my letter of resignation from the program. However, within the next year or so, I saw where the language had been modified a bit, to make it a bit more palatable. This entire process shaped much of how I approach, and what I believe today about the Holy Spirit. The full discussion of that is too much to get into in this blog. The basics of what I believe are as follows:
There are verses in scripture that point to speaking in tongues after people have been prayed for to receive the Holy Spirit, however there are many others that show other manifestations. Acts 9 tells an amazing story. Saul of Tarsus was Jew who was killing those who followed Jesus. He was a devout person, and truly believed he was doing Gods work by eliminating those who believed Jesus was the Son of God. He had been traveling and was struck blind, by God, and was taken to a home in Damascus. God told a Christ follower, Ananias, to go pray for Saul. Ananias argued with God, but eventually went and laid hands in prayer on him. Acts 9:17-20 tells us: So Ananias departed and entered the house, and after laying his hands on him said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he got up and was baptized; and he took food and was strengthened. Now for several days he was with the disciples who were at Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.” This passage, I believe, evidences the most important initial, physical evidence of the infilling of the Holy Spirit – Power! A changed life! Saul accepted Jesus as the Son of God, which was absolutely against his former beliefs. That can only come with power. Acts 1:8 says but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” This story of Saul, later to become Paul, is the most important image of why we need the Holy Spirit. The healing he experienced, and the absolute, 180 degree turnaround in his heart and ministry is undeniable. Now he was in agreement with those whom he had utterly persecuted just days before. This is absolute evidence of the infilling of the Holy Spirit. But there is no mention of tongues here. It would have been mentioned, had it happened, just as it was in other passages. Keep in mind, that at Pentecost in Acts 2, when the Holy Spirit fell like flames, they were speaking in 'tongues' or other languages. This was so they could testify to other cultures. This still happens today, there are many stories of it, but we just don’t hear much about it. There is also a prayer language of tongues, where the Holy Spirit prays through us, or we pray in conjunction with Him. But many who do not experience that prayer language, can still be filled. They may just have other evidences of it. One of the biggest issues I have with this teaching, is the condemnation that comes on people who do not get the ‘gift of tongues.’ I don’t know why they don’t, I just know I have seen many who did not receive tongues, but are absolutely changed and used by God, non-the-less. I have watched many walk away from prayer lines, dejected because they didn’t receive the ‘gift.’ The enemy uses this experience to make them believe God doesn’t love them as much as others, and that God won’t use them. However, I have also seen many people who pray in tongues all the time, but are meaner than a snake, and treat people horribly. Tongues does not make you a better or more mature Christian. The in-filling and in-dwelling of Holy Spirit, as evidenced by the Fruit of the Spirit does. Fruit is the evidence, fruit is the proof, fruit is the purpose, fruit is the end-game. We cannot do what God has called us to do without the fruit. Without the fruit, we may have a small measure of success as a Christian, but we will bomb out and hurt others in the process. So for me, God has not changed this belief. I see too much real evidence to the contrary. If you do not agree with me, that is fine. Do your own study on the Holy Spirit and see how many times he ‘filled’ or ‘came upon’ people and there is no mention of tongues. Just please don’t try to change my mind…you can’t. Only the Holy Spirit can.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI'm a wife, Mom, grandma, teacher, friend... Lived a while and still have some living to do. Archives
October 2021
Categories |